Today we were all as if run over by a truck. The girls slept relatively late and they & I stayed in our pjs til quite late in the day. Late nights and all ... D#1 with a sleepover and a snow-tubing party earlier in the weekend, D#2 up late with her sitter last night, me arriving home at midnight/1 a.m. from yet another swim meet (school-related this time rather than an event featuring my own personal child) ... it was an emotional experience, as one of my favorite students is a senior and this was his last high school meet. I got there in time to see him swim his last 2 events, and he did very well.
Lest you think we didn't have sufficient chlorine this weekend, we did go to see a couple of D#1's teammates (and some of my students) swim in the 13 and up championships at MIT this afternoon. I cast on for some swim meet socks (Ravelry link) on the long bus ride yesterday, as I was afraid to take the traveling scarf out of the house, and my own Noro scarf has gotten so long that it would have been cumbersome indeed in that setting.
We had, I thought, a good time at the championship meet today. But as we left, my companion got very silent and white in the face. When queried, of course she said that nothing was wrong. Not being an idiot, I could discern the lack of truth in this statement. In the hours since, neither her father nor I have been allowed to know what it was that upset her so... but she has also taken little trouble to hide her distress. As a result, I'm worrying more about the difficult task of parenting an adolescent; we're venturing further down this road every day. One minute she looks like my little girl and the next minute I can see the teenager looking out of her eyes; I've said before and will probably say again that it reminds me a little of the 2's, all the pushing away and then clinging as closely as possible. It's hard to know how much so-called rope to give, and where, in these muddled times, it makes sense to hold the line absolutely. I wish so much that she might be able to learn from my mistakes and her father's difficult adolescence but it's quite clear to me that she's going to walk her own path & make her own painful mistakes, do what we will. And my other child is so different from the first that nothing we learn this time will be the slightest use.
I need to make it through four more days til break. Maybe this will look a little sunnier from the vacation mindset?
3 comments:
Oh, that is such a tough place to be with a child/young woman. That cusp position isn't easy, and parenting through it definitely isn't, either! We're just starting to get hints of that, being a few years behind, and it's a frightening prospect. As is the fact that there are two to get through... Just remember that the mere fact that you are thinking about these things and worrying about her puts you all one step ahead of the game, even when it doesn't feel that way.
Oh. My. Yes.
Well, the advice I have, 20 years late for me, is to try HARD to stay calm. (I didn't) LOTS of deep breaths...lots of stepping back. No matter what, you'll be doing your best and that's all anyone can ask...
You won't keep them from making their own mistakes, you can only be there to catch them when they fall (and then remember they will immediately jump up and brush you OFF!)
'Tis the human condition - those hormones simply make life hell (and heaven!) - whatever end of them you're on (just wait till you're in your 50's to check me on that one...)
(((Hugs)))
I hope spring break gets here fast for you. I have no advice on the teenagers, but I wish you luck!
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