Ugh

I am approximately twenty rows away from finishing the final chart of my shawl .... and I'm freaking out because I think I have read the chart wrong. I know in my heart that lace on the needles looks like crap and I shouldn't expect it to resemble the beautiful blocked versions on Ravelry but I may have to put aside all of my grading and all of my project folders to finish this & get it off the needles so I can block it. Then I'll either be thrilled/relieved/proud or I'll be doing something drastic to bemoan my knitting hubris in taking on this project in the first place.